So a while back I got this anonymous comment on my surfing post. While I've had down time here in BR, I have gone back through all of my comments I have ever received and noticed that there was a comment made regarding my swimsuit standards.
I have thought about what I want to say back to this Anonymous person and really I'm on the fence. See the way I was raised, bikini's were always a part of my swimsuit attire. I don't think I owned a one-piece swimsuit until I was 14. To this day, I still struggle with the idea of "modesty" in my swimwear. I love bikini's. I am comfortable wearing them and I don't feel because I wear them, that I am not a strong member of the church or that it makes my testimony weak.
I am now a leader in the Young Women's program and have had debates with myself on what I should do about this specific standard that my church has. One side of my debate is: it's my choice. I don't feel un-Christ like in a bikini. I only wear them when I am tanning, on vacation with my husband, or out with my girl friends. I don't go around telling my YW that wearing a bikini is good or bad. I feel like it is a personal choice made by the individual.
While the other side of my debate is: I am an example of the church. I need to make sure that I am living to be the best person I can be. What will I do with my daughters when the time comes to choose swimsuits? If my YW are wearing bikini's and disobeying their parents standards, then I need to be able to help in showing them that they are daughters of God and in the For Strength of Youth it advises members of the church to wear modest dress even though it doesn't state a specific swimsuit that is appropriate.
I can honestly say that I am still undecided on what decision I will make. This is a struggle for me. What I don't appreciate is this Anonymous person essentially thinking and saying that they're better than me. I don't want to get preachy but one scripture does come to mind :
"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5)
Now don't get me wrong, I might even end up agreeing with the Anonymous person, but it is very hypocritical to throw stones from the safety of anonymity. I feel that I can handle criticism and would have rather that Anonymous person contact me directly if they have a problem with something or at least have the gall to show themselves.
I have a friend that this exact same situation happened to less than a month ago. I know that the anonymous comment that was made on her post really affected me because it was hurtful, judgmental, NOT Christ-like, and inappropriate. My friend wrote a similar post to this one that was directed specifically to that person. The difference is, is that my friend actually found out who the anonymous person was. As for me, this happened almost a year ago and I am just now seeing it.
I know that everyone has their own opinion about this subject, and honestly I would love to hear it. But feel free to keep quiet if you are going to express your opinion anonymously.
Love,
Brea
7 comments:
ever thought about moderating your comments? seriously, just read that comment and it made me mad for you. i was brought up on one pieces and i would seriously not feel comfortable showing my stomach ever (because it's not that attractive anyway..) but i also understand that swimwear is a personal choice. it's a slippery slope because modesty in swimwear is a weird concept and a very personal choice. you are beautiful and i love that you try to be such a good example to your girls. one thing i've learned is that if you want a testimony of something, you can totally get one. keep living the way you should and you'll be fine!
I can't believe someone actually made that comment- rude!! Totally a personal choice. For me I'll stick to my tankini, but hey if you have the body and can rock one, why not!?You looked great! People should not judge over something so silly...
Yeah it so messed up when people hop around blogs and leave hateful comments. I find it funny when people are shocked to see such a variety of testimonies and ideals. Maybe she doesn't agree with you but it's also where your heart is, and she is in no position to judge that.
I was taught to never wear one so that's the only way I know. I'm happy with that, for myself. Sure sometimes I feel like it would be fun to get tan all over but at the same time if it's something I don't want my dad to see me in, I won't wear it! Thankfully I'm just not comfortable in one so I don't have to have this dilemma myself. It sounds like you're close to figuring out how you feel about it though! (:
Sorry again about ANON- I've had those... and it's laaame. It's funny how she called you a hypocrite by not living by the standards yet she was judging you! I must've missed the part in the scriptures where it says judging another person is OK..
haha!
I totally agree with you! It's a personal decision and none of their business!
Brea,
I admire you for thinking this through and responding so thoughtfully. We all live according to what we know, and I know you try really hard to be a good person and keep the commandments. You have that light in your eyes. I am sure that if your swimwear is not in keeping with the Lord's standard of modesty, He will let you know, and not through an anonymous critic. I was raised to consider bikinis immodest, and I don't wear them, but I know you can still be a good person and wear a bikini! We are all doing the best we can, and we need to help each other, not pick on each other. We love you Brea!
You have thought thru this appropriately. I was exactly you 12 yrs ago. I was raised like you and always had a healthy stash of cute bikinis. Kids do change your perspective on everything! Plus, my patr.blessing speaks alot about me standing up for modesty. I think you are a beautiful girl inside and out. And bcuz you are so beautiful, many are watching you. Sometimes its the small changes that make the biggest differences to our testimonies. But, I know you are strong and faithful. I dont worry about you one bit. Maybe others shouldnt focus so much on correcting everyone else, like you said.
Brea, I forgot to mention, I've been so impressed with how modest and cute you are in your everyday clothes. I can tell that it is important to you to be modest and to honor your covenants. I'm sure you are a great example to your young women, and you will be to your children.
Thanks for stopping by our blog! Isn't it ridiculous how quickly those kids grow up?! Hopefully we'll see you again soon!
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